Welcome to Self-Studies! I write essays that reflect on my work as a marriage and family therapist, my own life stages and growth, and my desire for mutuality, good theology, and formation in the church.
I guess the first thing I’d like to tell you is that I’m not the same person I used to be, nor am I where I thought I’d be at this age and stage of my life.
(If that’s you in any way, welcome.)
In my life plan, I’d go to college, get married, buy a home, start a family, work as a marriage counselor my whole career and call to ministry, and maybe open a private practice in my 40s.
What actually happened was I went to college, got married, started a business, bought a home, opened a private practice at 26, and then tried to start a family, but couldn’t.
After that, my plan went out the window.
After a season of infertility, ectopic pregnancy loss, church hurt, and spiritual growth, my husband and I experienced what therapists call post-traumatic growth (PTG), characterized by a new appreciation of life, spiritual change, personal strength, positive relationships, and seeking new possibilities in life.
We sold our home and moved into a Christian college men’s dorm for 5 years. We chose to be generative in ways that did not include becoming traditional parents. We made simplicity and stewardship our new definition of success.
I stopped over-identifying with my career, credentials, and calling, and started moving toward that which truly brings healing, health, and life.
I’m not who I used to be. I don’t live the life I thought I’d live. And—I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned more deeply in the last decade.
God is nearer, vaster, better, and more loving than I can fathom.
I can rest, relax, enjoy my life, and work with presence and peace.
There is always more freedom and grace available to us than our internal or external narratives allow.
What you’ll find here at Self Studies…
Over the years, creative writing has been an outlet for me as I’ve tended to my own soul, self-care, and written my way through of seasons of burnout, loss, and liminality. Now, I write thoughtfully crafted essays about my life, vocational experience, and professional expertise.
Themes include but are not limited to: marriage, family systems, gender equality in the church, grief and loss, meditations on nature, and holding out hope and joy.
Free subscribers receive new free posts with one month of access to the archives.
Paid subscribers receive instant access to everything, plus:
The Roles We Play: Christian Marriage, Mutuality, and the Legacies We Inherit, my serial memoir. (Read right here on Substack.)
A downloadable workbook + episode guide to my mutualist marriage education podcast, The Brave Marriage Podcast with prompts, how-tos, and 120+ questions for relational, emotional, and spiritual self-study. (Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.)
I hope to connect with you soon!
Education
B.A. Psychology, Asbury University
M.A. Marriage and Family Counseling, Asbury Theological Seminary
D.Min. Student this fall!
Credentials
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Certified Professional Coach
Bowen Family Systems Coach
Relationship Enhancement Educator
Relationship Enhancement Couples Therapist
Gottman Method Level II Clinician
Personality Profile
Clifton Strengths: learner, intellection, input, discipline, and relator
Spiritual Gifts: discernment, knowledge, wisdom, exhortation, faith
Myers-Briggs: INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging)
DISC: SC (steady and conscientious)
Enneagram: 1w9
